The trauma of the move, the terrible terrible upset that forced me to move under very disturbing circumstances, the change, painful, a personal diaspora leaves me wiped, fell asleep too early, awakened by joyous screams of pleasure which continued on through out the night as I feel back to sleep. Personal diaspora still can't find a gift from my Grandmother and I think of what she said to me when she gave it to me. She was Bronx all the way (married my Gramps born on Ludlow Street)...and other items, are they hidden away some where, I was under such duress, are they in a box I have yet to unpack because I shipped them to a family member...hand carried out as much as I could, shipped to family, had friends hold things for me, friends even cared for my plants until I could take them back. Just don't feel connected, feel uprooted.
Will NYU and the USPS ever be held accountable? How ironic the tax payers -- many who don't have health insurance will pay 2 billion dollars for the USPS (just this year alone, when is the government going to confront the fact the USPS is outdated and do something about the fact they cannot run a business and even break even?) Doesn't inspire confidence the government is going to handle the other "rescues" from fannie mae to Wall St. No wonder the USPS keeps raising the price of stamps and selling air sale in a shady way, who use their federal status in ways I find unacceptable very close to home including the air sale over St. Ann's next to my now old home, not notifying the state of NY as they were legally obligated so the State than would come in and decide is this in the best interest of the community.
How ironic the tax payers have to bail out mega bucks after mega bucks of collapses for people that have health benefits and luxuries probably many of them can't imagine. Reminds me of 9-11 when the poor and middle classes gave the most generously, anyway I am drained and tired today as usual feel unsettled, already had warm sharings with a fellow volunteer and a gentle kind soul who is going to help me closet space for my new home.
Attitude of gratitude. I am feeling too low to put my hopes up too high. I know I asked Mayor Bloomberg for help and everybody in political office on down and got zero to nothing except Betsy Gotbaum did open up a case file in response to my letter about infrastructure concerns because of St. Ann's and I know Andrew Cuomo's office knows all (ALL) about it.
For now I put my confidence in Dan Cantor, Working Families.
inhale,
exhale.
I also think of Tina Negron and Adrienne Shelly because they were beautiful women that died to young and in violent ways -- not far from where I lived and there were certain things I had to endure that made their tragedy resonate even more and again it felt close to home.
You can have a green light cross the street and a mack truck runs you down -- you were right -- you had the light but right did not matter in this case and if you are a woman -- you are blamed -- it is her fault not the truck drivers fault. Oh well on to happy thoughts. I am glad to have moved and in some ways I wish it had been sooner. I contributed so much in so many ways it should never have happened this way but I am glad to have moved.
Attitude of gratitude and appreciation for all the goodness and there is plenty too appreciate.
Don't have much optimism but it is nice to be around so many joyous happy people that do.
