Press Release From *Deposed king of NYC Mike Bloomberg:
Note: Read this carefully New Yorkers and get it right or you will be ticketed by the NYPD and retired NYPD officers working for Billionaires and the girlfriends or boyfriends so pay attention or pay the fines.
NYC is to be Saint City not the big apple and if you won’t say the top power brokers exploiting the city are saints and that Howard Rubenstein is “god of NYC” than expect heavy ticketing -- besides Mike needs to raise EVEN more money off the back poor and middle classes by continuing to unfairly ticket them for everything under the sun-- just not rich people getting their tickets fixed!
We want to take a moment to stop patting ourselves on the back at high priced charity functions where Diana Taylor is on the board and her and Amanda the People’s Burden, worst city planner in the history of NYC -- their dresses would feed 40 families living in poverty
so make sure you know Diana, Mike, Amanda the People’s Burden are Saints running this city in to ground!
Also please be advised ex-Deputy Goldsmith, Christine Quinn real estate sell-out and Amanda the People’s Burden who busted through a record amount of zoning for rich people to put up luxury condos, hotels and mega dorms using the term community facility to exclude and push-out the community are all Jane Jacobs!!!
Howard Rubenstein who makes sure the media silences all opposition and critical voices of the Bloomberg administration who supports community crushing development over hospitals must all be addressed as Jane Jacobs or Saint Rubenstein or “god of NYC” along with Bill Rudin and The Rudin Family! Hold that thought and keep reading until you get to Goldman Sachs great contributors to NYC -- have GS paid back the bail-out money back or did it all go to Christine Quinn’s campaign run for mayor?
Anybody wanting to work in a top position NYC gov must be interviewed by Howard “god of NYC” Rubenstein” so get ready for boot licking and make sure you know your place citizen!
Effective yestersday (Friday 11/11/11) Bloomberg's NYC public relations (tourism) agency is rebranding this great city Saint City effective immediately.
Due to the largest white collar crime under Bloomberg, gun violence and deaths of babies to grannies, the death toll construction related accidents + Bloomberg’s Blizzard, terrible street conditions and constant infrastructure breaks BIG APPLE has become the rotten apple.
We the mayor’s press office are now instructing you the citizens to obey our new law and refer to NYC as SAINT CITY! All citizens must refer to Rudin family as Saint Rudins.
A press release issued by City Hall in the comatose-news hour of TGIF Happy Hour Friday (5pm-6pm) announced that New York City is no longer the BIG APPLE, but will now be sold and promoted as SAINT CITY.
The press release, signed by former Deputy Mayor Edward Schuyler (who is now an executive at Bloomberg LLP and working for Mike Bloomberg’s Charity as well with triple salaries but obtained a waiver from the City Conflicts of Interest Board for the limited purpose of signing this single press release) explained that the rebranding decision came moments after blogger extraordinaire Suzannah B. Troy reported (alone, we might add) that Bill Rudin -- refuses to live up to his quote in The NY Times about the West Village needing a world class hospital as he greedily pushes the sales of his blood condos... A hospital serves hundreds of thousands of tax-paying new yorkers while "Mother Teresa Bill Rudin" to build luxury condominiums for foreign investors and perhaps the stupidest 1% NYC -- even stupid rich people can fall and hit there head and die if there is no emergency room full service hospital from Chelsea to Battery on the West Side and Saint Christine Quinn has her head up’s Saint Rudin’s butt and is fine with no hospital in her district and she wants to be our ruler oops mayor.
Bill Rudin is "The Mother Theresa of NYC Real Estate.” Can you imagine what that says about the rest of the real estate people in NYC -- that they are Charles Manson?
An anonymous source at City Hall told this reporter that the branding change started with a 22-year old intern who was busy with an assignment to run Google searches to determine how many thousands of hits "Big Apple" was getting and as a side assignment to monitor the Suzannah B. Troy Blog for scurrilous comments about City Hall -- eager to demonstrate her go-get-em on-the-ballness (with an eye towards a $125,000 salary like the Twitter 25-year old) she jumped up and squealed: "Man, I just read where one of Rudin's guys said he was, like, the St. Theresa of NYC Real Estate! Like, guys, remember when Lloyd Blankfein told the stupid news reporters that GOldman Sachs was just doing "GOD'S WORK". Like, that is so weird -- and cool -- it's like Rudin is Mother Theresa and Goldman is doing God's works, like . . . . that is totally awsome! I'm thinking big -- I'm thinking rebrand -- Apples to Halos -- NYC slogan f"Big Apple” now "SAINT CITY! Don’t forget Christine Quinn real estate whore and than Deputy Goldsmith both introduced as Jane Jacobs. (no offense to sex workers).
I can do a Power Point on my iPad!" Whereupon those skinny-jeans-wearing intern's supervisor, a relative of the Mayor's girlfriend and girlfriend of a former (guess what branch of NYC gov -- hint -- every major white collar crime - involves this office and lobbyists) executive now in the consulting business here in New York, looked up from her Bloomberg-issued iPad and said: GREAT IDEA -- WE"RE GOING WITH IT." Let's Roll.
Everyone stays late -- orders dinner from local eatery close to City Hall and have theNYPD officers pick up our celebratory dinner and fix some tickets too on the way? Text message to Mike -- he replies "great".
Please call 311 or contact City Hall via Twitter to obtain replacement stickers and other items with the BIG APPLE symbol or slogan for replacements.
*Mike deposed by John Haggerty’s lawyer and Mike committed perjury -- oops! Mike was given immunity along with all his workers by Cy Vance but perjury ain’t covered! Lucky the laws don’t apply to Bloomberg and company)
p.s. Did we get the names of City Hall Officials who had their tickets fixed by NYPD yet?
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